Here is an excerpt of a letter I wrote my idiot foreign exchange student roommate last night and gave him this morning.



Referring to my house (and earlier telling him that we have saying that "A man's home is his castle" and I am the king of my castle):



"To you, it is place where you can sit on the sofa and watch TV, make a mess in the kitchen, hang your wet suit in my bathroom (my bathroom, Roman, not yours. You are using it but it is still my bathroom) and sleep at night. You do not really care that much about this house because soon you will be back in your country and so it does not matter.



"But, to me, this house means many things. It means I am not poor. It means I am happy that I live in Oceanside. It means I have worked hard. It means that in a few years I will have more money because the house will sell for a better price. It means that the girls like me more. This house means many things to me.



"That is why I am 'El Rey.'



"And since I am 'El Rey' I do not want to hear you argue with me about my house and my things in my house. I watch very little TV. You remember that before September 11 I had no TV signal. Then I bought for us a small antenna to watch the news of the terrorists. I bought the cable TV because you asked me. But you watch TV all the time, so you have no influence with me when you want to watch this show and I want to watch a different show.



"Roman, I will not allow you or anyone else to argue with me in my house. You do not pay rent to me; the ULP pays me $500 every month, not you. You are a guest in my house. I allow you to live here because I know that living in a strange country and learning English is very hard to do. But I also know that when I visit Italy or Germany or other European countries and see my European friends I do not argue with them. I do not demand that they give me something, or that they take me to a special store for a special thing. I know I am a guest and I ask them to do very little for me."



I went on to tell him he had to leave my house the day after his school was finished, which is December 1. I had originally agreed to let him stay here another 10 days so he could sight see with his brother, who was coming to visit him.



This morning he told me had decided already to go home on December 1 (before my demand). So, apparently his own brother won't come to the US from Venezuela to see him. First his girlfriend said "No" and now his brother.



Hmmm. Maybe I'm not the only one who thinks he is a putz.